Archive for April, 2011

Confessions of a Reforming Ingrate

I’m thankful…

…that God loves me despite my bad attitude.

…that Tim and I didn’t get married in April (we thought about it). 

…that Tim has a job.  (That’s about as far as I can go, but at least it’s something.)

…that he likes coming home in the evening way more than leaving in the morning.

…that Pop and I eat together.

…that the sun is shining.

…that I didn’t get lost on the way to church (there was a time not so very long ago when that wouldn’t have been possible).

…that Tim’s family has taken me in for my sake, not just for his–as exhibited by the fact that they welcomed me with open arms when I crashed their lunch.

…that it’s already 5:05pm.

…that I wrote up my lesson plan for tomorrow yesterday.

…that I have a plan for dinner (spaghetti), and it’s easy.

…that produce is coming back in season.

…that Tim doesn’t practice polygamy (sorry, I just read about people who do).

…that Christ saves sinners, even me.

…that there’s a pan of brownies in the kitchen.

…that I haven’t seen a tick in almost 8 months.

…that I don’t have the flu.

…that there’s always a reason to give thanks.

…that now it’s your turn.

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Breaking Ties

No wind for my sails these days, but even still I must note that even a journeyer can find some good in calm water.  I say can, not will.

The living doesn’t stop even if the writing does.  There’s been garden to dig and a greenhouse to help and beans to snap and asparagus to freeze and books to read and miles to walk and people to call and food to make and parks to visit and church to attend and thrift stores to scrounge and packages to mail and prayers to pray and floors to sweep (but no dishes to do, thanks to my live in dishwasher) and classes to teach. 

I’ve been tempted (and at times succumbed) to a spirit of complaint.  God calls me out gently but firmly with examples of those who have trusted Him through much worse than a hard-working husband, an unknown future, and a fragile spirit.  How trite my struggles when brought alongside those of Irena Sendler or J.J. Jasper,..or a host of others. 

I have not yet resisted unto bloodshed.

Not even close.

As for my hard-working husband, Tim hopes to finish his big crunch by the end of this very month, the one that is almost half over.  He’s a real trooper, this man I live with; he takes each day as it comes with steady persistence.  No mood swings for him!  And Pop, too, has been another real trooper, cheerfully taking over as much as he can for Tim and willingly throwing his regularly schedule mealtimes out the window (no small sacrifice).  Yes indeed, these two are yet another source of constant conviction to me.

As for my unknown future, I guess we’re all in the same boat, right?  The immediate future isn’t ours to know–but eternity is.  HOW can I forget that so easily?  WHY do I chafe at my portion or its timing, even as I can see that the lines have fallen to me in such incomprehensibly pleasant places?

As for my fragile spirit: I suppose the whole point (or at least one of them) of any trying time is to cut our ties to this earth and (double)knot them to Christ.  I have many life-support strings, and most of them aren’t tied to Him.  The church, family, friends, a routine, expectations, myself–all good things in their place, but bound to snap when I look to them apart from Christ for security.  Snip, snip!  It’s a long, slow, painful process…but for the best. 

And with that, I’d better go.  Just got the homeward bound call from Tim, and he’ll need a nice, hot wife bowl of soup to welcome him home.

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Different weeks bring different moods, this week no exception.  

The cooking mood whirled through the kitchen Monday and Tuesday, leaving in her wake a refrigerator stuffed tight with meatloaf, scalloped cabbage, tapioca pudding, chicken-asparagus alfredo, and pancakes.

The cleaning mood made a brief appearance yesterday evening, polishing off a bathroom, a bedroom, and a few kitchen cupboards.

The shopping mood devoured the middle out of today.  I returned home flushed and triumphant: $30 dollars poorer; two tension rods, a toilet paper stand, slippers, a chick-flick, lunch, and 15 fabulous items of Secondhand Chance apparel richer.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll put together a post with some pictures of my loot.

The blogging mood has been strangely absent.  Sorry.

In its place, the reading mood has filled in the corners of the days.  I’ve discovered Jamie Langston Turner and Deborah Smith, the first of which I’m enjoying for her theology (imagine, a contemporary Christian fiction writer with good theology!) and the second for her rugged reality.  In a few days, I imagine I’ll be writing a post in which I wholeheartedly recommend the first and recommend with reservations the second.  But I’m going to read a bit more of both first, just to make sure.  Stay tuned.

What kind of word is “mood” anyway? 

The exercise mood is up and running walking with delightful consistency two to three times a week thanks to an exercise buddy and some spring sunshine.

The bummed-when-Tim-works-overtime mood is fighting for a place of prominence these days, but so far all the other moods are ganging up against it…and winning.  No promises for tomorrow, though.  It’s a day at a time sort of war going on ’round here.

The gardening mood plans to finish out the week with a day (or two) pitching in at the greenhouse.

And that’s all.

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D.J. and Christine

Here are some of my favorite pictures from D.J. and Christine’s wedding (a week ago today):

As you can probably see, it was a simple but beautiful day full of family and friends.  God blessed the service, and we pray His continued blessing on this new marriage!

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