Good thing it’s my night to shower…

I have fleas.

I can feel them jumping all over me.

Right this very instant, there’s one just under my right shoulder blade, another crawling around my left thigh, a third wreaking havoc at the nape of my neck, a fourth on my spinal cord, and a fifth behind my left ear.

I think.

Ope, there’s another one on my right calf.

I can feel him.

I think.

I played with the cutest little black and white short haired puppy off and on for about two hours today. 

He had fleas.

I think.

I love puppies.  Especially short haired ones. 

I want one. 


I think.

I hate the heebie jeebies.

Or whatever you want to call them.

I think

I’m going to go take a shower.

Maybe I don’t really have fleas.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t. 


Except for the one I can feel at this very moment on the tip of my right shoulder blade.

But he’s not real.

Nor is the one crawling across my right temple.

Definitely not.

A figment of my imagination.

For sure.

I think.

  1. #1 by Angela Starosta on December 1, 2010 - 7:34 am

    That totally happens to me! I forget to give my dog her meds on time and we eat in the bed so there are crumbs sometimes and I lay there in bed convinced that every little crumb i touch is a bug and i’m infested with fleas. That one doesn’t get better with dog ownership (unless you strictly keep the dog indoors). Mine is too big for that tho. I think you’d make a great puppy mommy tho!

    • #2 by Cristy on December 1, 2010 - 9:40 pm

      I get the same way whenever anyone says the word ‘tick’ in my presence.

  2. #3 by Rachel on December 1, 2010 - 11:54 am

    You are hilarious, Cristy!! I always look forward to reading your blog for comic relief, but of course you are serious too, which I also appreciate 🙂

    • #4 by Cristy on December 1, 2010 - 9:40 pm

      Thanks, Rachel!!

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