How I Keep Tim Hopping.

My goal in life is to keep Tim on his toes.

It’s a hard job.  But someone has to do it.

I achieve success by such sundry means as threats, pouts, licks, vocal contortions, and crazy schemes.

Ooooh, yes, the crazy schemes.  Works every time.

There was the time I made calls to some office to find out what it would take for us to take in 5 foster children.

There was the time I started buying things at garage sales that I knew I’d never use so that I could open my own thrift shop.

There was the time I came home with a shopping bag full of maternity clothes, just in case, you know, Tim starts gaining weight or something.

There was the time I started looking at real estate in Montana.

There was the time I wanted to paint our bathroom bright orange (in honor of the sunset).

There was the time I woke us up at 5:30 to go running every morning for a whole week.

There was the time I read about a girl who hasn’t used shampoo in over a year and decided it might as well be me.

There was the time I threatened to write a blog post titled “Our Sketchy Humor”.

There was the time I scoured craigslist for a cheap dairy cow.  There was the time I found one.

There was the time (that might have occurred sometime within the last 24 hours) I stumbled upon a website called Eating Bugs!!.  There was the time I read it.  There was the time it made me laugh out loud, at which time I caught Tim’s attention, at which time he read over my shoulder, at which time he began to get a little nervous.

At this point in our relationship, see, he knows me a little too well.

As in, he has figured out a bit about how my brain works.  He knows that one moment a matter of fleeting amusement, the next ant tacos simmering on the stove.

Mmmmm-mmmm.  I can just smell them now.

Anyone want to come for dinner?

(In case you haven’t figured this out by now, all I’m really trying to accomplish is a “Honey, why don’t we eat out tonight?” from the T-man.)

((The link (((above or copied again here))) really is well worth a read, even if you have absolutely no interest in low fat protein.  For example: “Insects are very easy to raise.  There is no manure forking, no hay bale lifting, no veterinary bills.  You can raise them in an apartment without getting complaints.”  Hahahaha.  How is that not funny?))

(((Also,  just in case you need a little extra convincing and are of the camp that believes whole grain bread is the most biblical ((((based on a misinterpretation of a verse in Ezekiel that happens to be a pet peeve of mine)))): read Leviticus 11:21-22, and then we’ll talk))).


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  1. #1 by Leah on October 23, 2010 - 2:58 pm

    but I looove Ezekiel bread…

    • #2 by Cristy on October 23, 2010 - 3:26 pm

      You’re allowed to like it. You’re just not allowed to say it’s better than other bread biblically. 🙂

  2. #3 by joannamv on October 23, 2010 - 9:11 pm

    Haha I’ve never heard of that before. How do people interpret that verse to mean its the best? Its not like they’re saying lying on your side for a year is the best way to spend a year…

    My school science teachers made chocolate coated locusts or crickets. I never tried them though.

    Hey, we should all share maternity clothes!

    • #4 by Cristy on October 26, 2010 - 3:32 pm

      Yah! I bet we’re all about the same size…

      • #5 by joannamv on November 12, 2010 - 5:40 pm

        I just bought a maternity top!

        Well it works fine as a non-maternity top, it just stretches.

        But, the label says Babyhood by Motherhood so it is a maternity top.

        • #6 by Cristy on November 12, 2010 - 6:46 pm

          WOOOHOOO! I hope it’s cute, because I fully expect to wear it one day.

          I’ve thought about wearing some of my maternity clothes as every day clothes, but then I think about how often I’ll have to wear them when that’s all I can wear, and I decide to postpone the inevitable just a little bit longer.

  3. #7 by Sally on October 25, 2010 - 1:27 pm

    And I thought my life was interesting and diverse.

    • #8 by Cristy on October 26, 2010 - 3:33 pm

      Oh, it is…that’s why you don’t need to resort to crazy schemes to stay on your toes!

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