B. Find an orchard (www.pickyourown.org works. very. slowly.)
C. Fight over who will call the orchard to check times, prices, and availability.
D. Pack a lunch (pbj, chips, salsa, and girl scout cookies is a well balanced affair)
E. Meet halfway in a sketchy parking lot.
F. Park in the shade (your car will be just as hot as ever when you get back to it, but at least you’ll feel proactive)
G. Ride the rest of the way to the orchard together listening to hits from the 80’s.
J. Do you see peaches? We didn’t either.
K. Pick for one hour.
R. Divide and conquer (split up and return back to respective homes).
T. Sort peaches into piles: 1) unripe 2) mangled, bruised, or otherwise suitable for jam or 3) whole, symmetrical, or otherwise unsuitable for jam.
V. Follow all directions on pamphlet in box of surgel to make cooked jam, including
ZZZZZZZZ. Crash on couch. Make husband fix supper (or eat leftovers, or both). Feel proud about your day. Think not on the pile of peaches unsuitable for jam still sitting on your kitchen counter.