Peach Jam from A to Z

A. Find a friend (preferably one as cute as mine and a little less ornery). 

B. Find an orchard (www.pickyourown.org works.  very.  slowly.) 

C. Fight over who will call the orchard to check times, prices, and availability. 

D. Pack a lunch (pbj, chips, salsa, and girl scout cookies is a well balanced affair) 

E. Meet halfway in a sketchy parking lot. 

F. Park in the shade (your car will be just as hot as ever when you get back to it, but at least you’ll feel proactive) 

G. Ride the rest of the way to the orchard together listening to hits from the 80’s. 

H.  Follow directions on billboard to peach picking area. 

I. Survey the orchard for peaches. 

J.  Do you see peaches?  We didn’t either. 

K. Pick for one hour.  

L. Become slightly deflated because 1) all the peaches seem to be in the rows labeled DO NOT PICK 2) it is very, very hot and 3) the peaches are very, very small.   

M. Take a break for lunch. 

N. Make it count. 

O. Send your friend out to finish picking while you take a nice nap on the picnic blanket. 

P.  Be very, very thankful for sunglasses 

and cooling vents. 

Q.  Survey picked produce proudly. 

R. Divide and conquer (split up and return back to respective homes). 

S. Wash ants, dirt, and pesticides off peaches. 

T. Sort peaches into piles: 1) unripe 2) mangled, bruised, or otherwise suitable for jam or 3) whole, symmetrical, or otherwise unsuitable for jam. 

unsuitable for jam

 

U. halve, pit, dice, and mash jam peaches with a potato masher. 

V. Follow all directions on pamphlet in box of surgel to make cooked jam, including 

W. Sterilize jars in boiling water 

X. Cook jam 

Y. Put jam into hot jars, put hot lids on jars, turn jars upside down for 5 minutes, and run burnt fingers under cold water. 

Z. Turn back right side up, listen for the ‘pop’ when it seals, jump up and down for joy when you hear it, and go about cleaning up the mess that has taken over your kitchen. 

ZZZZZZZZ.  Crash on couch.  Make husband fix supper (or eat leftovers, or both).  Feel proud about your day.  Think not on the pile of peaches unsuitable for jam still sitting on your kitchen counter.

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  1. #1 by Gretchen on July 22, 2010 - 7:08 pm

    This is disgusting. Why are you so speedy? I did steps A-Q, got stuck in traffic (surprise!), petted the cat, and took a nap. NOW it is time for jam!!!

  2. #2 by Mollie on July 24, 2010 - 11:15 am

    That friend is rather cute. I like her.

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