the Dominion mandate

I really, really miss Tim when he’s at work.  Is that part of the curse? 

Another thing: I’m supposed to be his helpmate, right?  Companion?  Help-meet?   Helper suitable?  Genesis 2:20?  That is, after all, a wife’s role.  Or at least, I want it to be this wife’s role.  But I can’t.  Not like if he were a farmer.  Or a restaurant owner.  Or a lumberjack.  (Not that I really want him to be any of those things.  Except maybe the farmer.  Or the lumberjack.) 

Sheesh, not only can I not help him; I don’t even really know what he does all day.  And it’s not for lack of explanation…just lack of understandation. 

(There was this one time when I came really, really close to ‘getting it’.  I was canning green beans with my pressure canner and I was watching the little pressure bobber bob and I was adjusting the stove dial to keep the pressure bobber bobbing and Tim walks by and says, “Hey, this is pretty much what I do at work: control output by regulating input!” and I almost have a breakthrough until I try to picture Tim in his hard hat standing at a stove watching a bobbing bobber bob and I think, he needs a blackberry, a security badge, and a college degree for this? and I realize that I must still be missing something.)

(By the way, if you don’t know, the title of this blog is a pun.  I’d hate for you to miss out on its brilliance.  The company Tim works for just happens to be named…you got it…Dominion.  If you still don’t get the pun, google ‘dominion mandate’ and hit ‘I’m feeling lucky’ ((unless you aren’t, in which case I’ll just tell you that it’s a reference to the part in Genesis where God tells Adam to get to work)).  If you still don’t get the pun, I’m not sure I can help you.)

It really bothers me.  (That I can’t help him at work.)

No, really, it does.

I sit here and wonder WWED. 

(What Would Eve Do?)

Maybe she would make bracelets.

(That was another joke.  True confession: I once owned a WWJD bracelet.  It was blue with white lettering.  I wore it all summer.  It left a wicked tan line.)

But this is not a joke: I miss Tim when he goes to work.  And I hate that I can’t work with him.  And that’s all there is to it.

  1. #1 by Grace on July 13, 2010 - 4:46 pm

    You’re awesome!! Taylor wore one of those bracelets our freshman year of college. I had a huge crush on him, but didn’t do anything about it because I thought “WWJD” had to be his girlfriend’s initials. 😉

  2. #2 by Sally on July 13, 2010 - 5:16 pm

    Cristy, Cristy, hang in there! You won’t always feel this way. Believe me. Once you have a baby, or two, or three, you won’t feel that way. I promise. I’m sure it’s very, very wicked of me, but there are more times than I’d like to confess that I think and feel—“Sure, you (Andrew) can do whatever you want to do, but I have to work all the time, 24/7, responsible every minute, I have to figure out how to make things work with my kids. I can’t decide to join the choir (who would keep the kids during the practice?); I can’t just decide to run to town (I have to figure out how to do it between naps and meals); I can’t just start a project (even if it’s “work”) and do it, I have to decide I’m going to plow through it WHILE I’m taking care of the kids; I can’t just close the door to my soundproof office and get my work done, I have to actively participate in the lives of little people all the time and still get my work done, which is a juggling act every. single. day.” O.k., maybe that’s the underside, the uglier side, of being a stay-at-home mom. But, it is a real side that exists, at least for me. So, whenever you have little ones, you won’t be wishing you could help Tim. You’ll feel (at times) like you’re the one doing all or most of the work in the family life—and it won’t make you feel any better that it doesn’t put one penny in the bank account!

    O.k., you didn’t ask for all that just from a post that said you missed your husband while he was working. I too miss my husband, not because he’s gone to work, but because he is working all the time.

  3. #3 by Tim H. on July 13, 2010 - 7:39 pm

    I wish so badly that Tim was a lumberjack.

  4. #4 by Laura on July 14, 2010 - 1:55 pm

    So maybe you’re not helping Tim by taking the notes on how the bobber’s bobbing, but you’re the doing the greater work of motivating him to keep doing it! You make it worth it every time you thank him for how hard he works and tell him he’s an amazing engineer. Every time you to listen to him and his explanation, being genuinely interested even if the “understandation” isn’t really happening. When you let him know you respect his abilities and think he’s brilliant, you help build healthy confidence that assists his work more than about anything else you could do!
    You help by shopping smart and saving money. Tim knows he can count on you to be wise with your resources; the wife’s spending habits either make alot of stress and strain, or they can be a blessing.
    You help him by making your house comfy and pleasant to live in.
    You help by growing good veggies in the garden.
    You help by cooking healthy food he loves. You could deep-fat fry your food, and it probably tastes good. But I’ve taken care of too many young-ish men with heart attacks to advise that. Promoting a healthy lifestyle together is one way you can already be loving Tim and his heart and your future together when you’re 50.
    Then there’s the other way you love his heart; that’s the best part of helping you get to do! You not only make him want to work for you and to take care of you in his provider role, but you make him want to come home, too. That’s where the huge Cristy smile comes in. That’s where the big hug and long kiss when he walks in the door hit home.
    So, miss him while he’s at work. I hope I never stop missing Phil when he’s gone. But know that you can and DO do a great job of being a help meet for Tim in your work at home. Praise God for kids some day, and for your teaching job too. But remember this important job now–encouraging Tim to do his work for God’s glory…with a major motivator being you!
    Press on!

    • #5 by Anna C on July 17, 2010 - 7:34 am

      Very good thoughts, Laura!

  1. Clarification « doubleknotted

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